I hope you’re all having a lovely day/night.
It’s always been my concern to make others feel better about themselves and not feel judged. I guess it’s just my personality, or a character aspect of mine. I always like to put myself in other people’s shoes, or at least think of how they may feel before I think of what I feel.
A huge concept that everyone is being judged at is weight loss/gain, or just weight in general. In Lebanon, this concept is huge too. It’s possibly one of the most judged and talked about situations, here. I felt that I should write about it and let you guys know how much weight is a huge thing in Lebanon, and why it is as it is.
First off, Lebanese people are known to be ‘oh-so-trendy’ and always up to date with style. Lebanese people are also known to have prestige. Their first thought in mind is “What will the people say?” Their second thought in mind is “What will my boyfriend say?” or “What will the girl that I like say?” or even “What will my boyfriend’s parents say?” (Emphasis on the girl’s weight is more emphasized than the guy’s weight, but I’ll get to that in a bit).
So, since we always think of what other people think of us, we always want to be better than someone else. Which is not so bad, actually, when you think of it. I sometimes thrive to be better than someone else, too. I think it’s our main motivation point.
But, here, since Lebanon is still a male-dominated country in a way, males do not have so much pressure on them to lose weight and look amazing, as much as women do. Women are supposed to be the perfect piece: they should be curvy, but not too curvy, skinny but not too skinny. If women are seen as too skinny, they need a bit more fat so a man can feel that soft and squishy meat, not feel the bones (according to some Lebanese men, bones are a turnoff). If women are seen as too fat, they need to lose weight or otherwise how will they be able to introduce them to their friends? How will they be able to go to the beach, without staring at other skinny women?
In my opinion, I think that losing weight or gaining weight is too overrated in Lebanon. Do I need to lose weight? Yes. Do I need to gain weight? Yes. But that doesn’t concern you. It doesn’t concern you what I do with my body. It’s not my fault if you can’t take your eyes off other women, since that’s your personality and character.
Is it a good feeling to feel and look great for your boyfriend/girlfriend/mother-in-law/whoever? Yes, it’s a great feeling, and it’s not a crime. But what’s wrong is how we act about it. For example, I have a friend who was dating a while ago. According to her, she needed to lose weight. Her boyfriend insulted her many times about her weight and her body (even though he needed to lose weight too!), and yet he made it seem like it was all her fault that they didn’t look like a good couple in front of his friends. He was a Lebanese man that would only think of what other people think of him. Long story short, my friend left him because of how insulting and rude he was.
Another example is of my other friend, who also wanted to lose weight, and her boyfriend was a trainer, but he never ever made her seem like she was incapable of losing weight or like she was the reason they weren’t ‘good’ together. He always supported her, in losing weight or not.
Even parents and families, nowadays, do not support their own children! They make it seem like they will never get where they want to get because of their weight.
I have a lot of thoughts about this, but since it is such a long post I thought I’d stop here. If you want me to continue this post, please let me know in the comments.
*This post was made without offence intended to anyone. Please don’t forget, that not every single person or family is like this in Lebanon. I do not like over-generalizing, because many people think differently.
Until next time,